There was a warmth between us that felt eternal. Twisting around and within, it spread with a soft deliciousness that filled all our cracks and holes. Our spirits shaped themselves into their natural existence of no beginning or end. The comfort of our own skins allowed our bodies to move with grace and ease around the other, like a rose vine wrapping itself around its anchor. Seizing without choking; letting go without needing. Our breath inhaled in patterns of tightening and loosening, quickening, then slowing down. Never gasping, nor trying.
Having spent lifetimes apart, we understood the rarity of our meeting. When our eyes first met, we held gazes for an eternity. Our eyes reflected a deep knowing and understanding. Our laughter was easy and satisfying. We inhaled each other like a last breath. Exhales of deep satisfaction for having finally found each other in this chaotic mess of an existence. Like warm butter, gratitude flowed between us. Eternity passes and comes, and passes again. One being two, being one again. So fantastically good.
My thirst is quenched by your warmth. I absorb it inside of me like rain falling on parched land. I lean in to take a drag of your very own unique chemical blend. My nose inhales deeply, getting my fix. You are taken straight. Pure and whole. Warm and full.
I have dreamed about this moment. Having your scent so right, so close. Its familiarity triggers memories of one long forgotten. It’s as if you are a mirage, created by my mind’s eye out of pure desire. I reach to touch your callused hand and am surprised that it is real. My mind wanders, reminiscing on past feelings of ache. How cruel life can be to hold back such wonders.
Nothing lasts forever.
The reality of my unrealized world hits like darkness and thunder clapping simultaneously. The noise is so loud, it makes my ears ache. Wanting to return to your warmth and fullness, the daylight makes it impossible. Around my shoulders, there is an empty coldness from blankets kicked off in angst.
Reluctantly, my eyes open to a world where my heart is no longer full. This old familiar ache returns. A longing of you, a someone so wonderful, seemingly only receivable in dreams. As I sit here vacant, your warmth lingers by my side. I take a shallow breath to see if the smell of you lingers in the air. I hold my breath, not wanting to exhale your escape. I lay still to avoid the truth. Closing my eyes to the darkness where you can return. Dreaming, yearning. The sound of rain falls harder on my roof. The windows reflect a sky casting a shadow of grey onto my world. Wetness falls onto cheeks.
You exist only in a fragment of self that I can not touch.