He, the language keeper, medicine man and sweat leader, paused at my daughter as she exited the sweat lodge. “Take this tobacco and hold it up to your heart.” Looking towards me, he said, “Your daughter has a heavy heart.” Understanding his words, a piece of me ripped in half. “Yes, it’s the school, two weeks away. She misses it...” The mother, the wanderer, the dreamer. On this short trip of elation made out of necessity for my own survival and wellbeing. A mere taste of what feels right; to heal the heaviness of my own heart. A trip to the desert; a fling with the sun. Back again. …
Parenting
1 year, 3 weeks & 5 days
As if under a spell, the idea of staying anchored in one place for the duration of an entire year, attached itself to me like a starved leech. It was an idea that wouldn’t budge or compromise; leaving a strong sense of obligation before even starting. That if I didn’t follow through, something dire would happen… That if I left the said vicinity, some horrid curse would be laid down… Maybe it is the slight OCD in me but I followed through. Through thick and thin, the spell, felt curse at times, swallowed and bound me to a land which I both loved and despised. Through two cold and snowy …
Adventuring into the Unknown
There is a confession wanting to come forth. Holding onto the idea of van dweller of 20 plus years, there is currently a slight untruth to that. Exploration has taken hold into areas taken for granted to most western people but with my own free will and desire, I became unfamiliar with. The confession isn’t large. It is merely that our dwelling situation has expanded. To be clear, it is not a mansion in which we reside though it certainly feels like one. The place is more of a small box; bigger than the comforts of my van, but lacking the freedom of wheels. There are no amenities like a …
Insights of Coaching
In front of me sat eight little people who looked up at me with a combination of eagerness and shyness. It was a scene oddly familiar from years back, yet completely anew. Here I was, about to coach gymnastics for the first time in years. Part of the job title was to display the gymnastics circuit for the kids later to mimic which made me feel slightly queasy. Let’s make a couple things clear, this is recreational gymnastic which means easy but I was never specifically any good at gymnastics and it has been years. Despite starting at an age considered ‘too old’, it was my first love and if …
A world cup and a kid
After the slap in the face from millau i vowed to step out of BlocAge and go to the Paris gyms to climb and experience real comp style problems. Unfortunately still being carless, that plan didn't work out. But the weather was drier and the San Francisco crew had arrived which meant psyched climbing partners who easily picked me up so i could join them which of course, I did willingly. Admittedly I was over going to the same gym and the temptation of fine sandstone with fine people was irresistible. Sometimes a bad comp can question my abilities as a climber but after a couple weeks in the …
The start
Apprehension and nervousness combined with an overall feeling of excitement engulfed me as I embarked on a much anticipated journey to Europe with my daughter Cedar. I have not stepped on European soil in what seems like another lifetime. A lifetime when where I slept and what I ate affected only me. Going on this trip was something that I had avoided for some time now simply because I felt unprepared and incapable of pulling off with a kid. Though the pessimistic realist in me said I was doomed for a quick flight back, the optimist fought its ground telling me a least to give it a go. The …