It was never my intention to go to the Nationals. They were supposed to be in Alberta and I was supposed to be in Europe. But as life would have it, they were switched to Montreal and I was stuck in Montreal waiting for essential things like passports which arrived only a few days before the comp. It would seem like chicken behavior to escape the comp at this point but regretting not going seemed even worse. And so I went. I paid to go and compete with the intention to give my best effort and keep my focus on the climb in front of me. The after affect: self inflicted torture and suffering I …